“Just a reminder you can get your applewood smoked spiral sliced ham, Kirkland style for 3.59 per pound. No antibiotics ever, gluten-free, fully cooked.”
“Have we seen this Shark cordless vacuum called the Stratos? This one has hyper velocity. Oh my word. Up to 40 minutes of runtime. Here she is in all of her beauty. Clean Sense, senses the dirt you can't see and automatically boosts power. Oh, that's kind of cool. The most suction for up to 50% better debris pickup.”
“$350 off until when? The 12th. Are you going to even see this? No, that's rude. Nevermind. It's going to be 349.99 when you see this.”
“Beautiful, beautiful. This is the Holiday Winter Garden for 19.99. It's a nice little metal container and it's the Zygo cactus.”
“Ladies, fleece-lined joggers for you. This is nice. So now you can go on your walkies and feel really cozy. Check that out in there. Oh. See, the thing with this is it always makes my butt look really weird, like it's the longest booty known to man. So I can't wear things like this. I look crazy.”
“And Danskin Women's Melange Hoodie? I'm sure I'm saying that perfectly right. Can I say that I am in love with brown right now? I don't know why, but these dark chocolatey browns are doing it for me.”
“Roxy Women's quilted jacket, looking fine here. We have it in sizes small up to extra extra large. Let me show it to you. There's no hood, so don't get your hopes up. You're not getting that, but you can zip it because it has a zipper. Duh.”
“Cozy fleece button-front jacket. Okay, it's a jacket, so it's going to keep you cozy. And I like the fleece. No, this is black. No, it's navy. Oh, yeah, it's—that's what I was thinking too. I kind of was at first, but then I thought, 'No, what do I know?'”
“Ladies' Spyder long sleeve tops. These are great for layering. We have it in the blue and we have it in the black. Thumb holes are a must, that's my absolute favorite.”
“And then the Adidas Women's 7/8 pocket tight. So we have it in black and we have it in blue. And it's going all the way down to the ankles on this person. On me it might not go that far, but who knows.”
“And the active pant from Adidas. So you're going to have, rather than it being tight all the way down, you got a little space. You got a little movement in the wide-leg pant. We have it in brown, we have it in grey. Oh, it's even a zipper pocket.”
“Oh, a little Belgian chocolatier giving us the chocolate pistachio thins. So these are not the Dubai chocolate. This is milk chocolate with pistachio inside and out. Individually wrapped, so you might have a little bit of self-control possibly.”
“What luck we have, more pistachios. This is the milk chocolate pistachios with pink Himalayan salt. I just—I love it. I love everything about it. It sounds fantastic. And you get 27 pieces per serving, which makes me really happy.”
“You guys, check out this gorgeous arrangement with the gold sparkly ball in it. I mean, that just takes it to the next level, doesn't it? I don't know why it does, but I kind of like it also.”
“What do my eyes behold? Lilly, what did you bring us? Babka. Brooklyn born, handcrafted quality. A sweet yeast dough rolled with a delicious chocolate filling. Oh, it is delicious looking.”
“Okay, I don't think I've seen this before, but it is on clearance, interestingly enough. Tartufi Jimmy Truffle & Cheese Sauce. Oh, golly. I mean, that is interesting. Made in Italy.”
“Oh la la Pierre, the breaded whole breast fillet of raw stuffed chicken breasts. So this is Cordon Bleu. Filled with blend cheeses and ham. These are raw. You get six of them. You're going to have to cook them. Please cook them.”
“The mini quiche are here in a flaky crust with butter, three cheese and Florentine. No artificial flavors. It microwaves in one minute. And you get 72 pieces, three trays of 24. So this might be a little hors d'oeuvre or a little, you know, something-something at your party.”
“Fallout Jones Soda Company. We have Sunset Sarsaparilla, Quantum, Nuka-Cola Quantum, Nuka-Cola Grape. I don't necessarily understand what we're talking about here, but it is Vault-Tec magnet bottle opener and a collector and a collection of caps are included.”
“The Costco food cart dog toy collection is back. This is the five-pack. We have the pizza, the cookie, the hot dog with eyeballs, your Costco card, and a drink. Plus, give your sample stealer their own Costco name tag. Oh my goodness.”
“Dog toy plushies for 11.99. We have the giraffe. These seem heavy-duty. Let's see. They come with a squeaker, so that's good. We have... what is this? This is like a... I don't know what this is called. It's a thing with tusks. Tell me what that is. Is it a pig, a warthog? I'm not sure. And then an elephant and the rhino.”
“Ooh, Juni for a happy mind. Sparkling tea with adaptogens. Ashwagandha, Lion's Mane, Reishi Mushroom, Acerola Cherry, and Green Tea. So these are going to help you just be happy. Peach flavored, Raspberry, and Tropical.”
“In the cold section we have Dubai-style chocolate pistachio almond milk lattes. It's a Pop & Bottle, six-pack of these and it's dairy-free, no refined sugar, plant-powered almond latte. Just ready to go for 15.69. This Dubai-style everything is... it's taking over everything.”
“Spanish Tapas. We have chorizo, salchichón, and serrano ham. Product of Spain. You're just going to eat it. And there's all kinds of other things you could probably eat it with, like cheese and you get some fruits and whatnot.”
“And in case you didn't know, they do have nutty and briny caviar here. That caviar is a garnish and it's only $52.99 for just that. Do you love caviar? Do you want to tell me about that?”
“Costco, I didn't know we had organic tofu extra firm over here. 10 grams of protein per serving, $5.79 and you get four 16-ounce packages in there. What's your favorite thing to do with tofu?”
“Strawberry topped cheesecake. I don't know, does that look appetizing? It's a little bit different. Okay. Sweet graham crust, rich cheesecake filling, sour cream layer, strawberry topping for 23.99.”
“Look at this beautiful display cabinet. This is the Abbyson Home Aspen 80-inch display cabinet. I think I have a thing for display cabinets because there's one at Sam's Club that I love a lot and this one's actually quite beautiful and a bit taller.”
“Jump starter and portable power bank. We have a jump starter like this in our car and it's come in handy many times because we have like a faulty thing that can't be fixed on our car... 15 dollars off on this one until the 24th of Christmas, no 24th of December, sorry, I lost my mind. $44.99.”
“Ooh, look who went on sale, the Nuwave Hot Brew temperature control mug. It was 99.99, but $20 off now just until the 15th, making it 79.99. Here's what it does: it doesn't just keep your stuff hot, it actually brews your coffee and your tea perfectly every time.”
“So it is the air foot massager with heat and it is $20 off until the 14th... 79.99 on this one.”
“Also the little solar camera bird feeder. Same thing for Evergreen, it's $20 off just until the 14th... 79.99.”
“We have the Lifesmart, and it looks like it's been used, treadmill. This is the PowerTouch treadmill. Look at the screen on that guy. If we can't be watching shows on there, I don't want it... 16 inch color touchscreen with preloaded entertainment apps.”
“Another option is the Magnum electric bike. Okay. Fully adjustable e-bike for all riders. Are we going to the beach and we're riding in the sand on this thing? Come on... Right now $400 off until the 17th of December, 1099.99.”
“And here we have the Centr adjustable bench with leg extension and preacher curl attachment. Preacher curl? Never heard it called that before... So this is 169.99 and you can move things around.”
“Who's ready to go golfing? Never would I ever do good at that... but I want to let you guys know that the Callaway Men's 10-piece right-hand set is here. This includes the driver, three wood, five hybrid, six iron, seven iron, eight iron, nine iron, steel shaft, pitching wedge, sand wedge, and super stroke grip putter.”
“See here's the bag. I don't know if this is the right kind, but this is the Pebble Beach golf stand bag. And you can put all of your things in there for 129.99.”
